20 Years, really?

Oh, good Lord. It's been twenty years. A little over, actually. We've been out of high school since June 10th, 1994.

A lot has changed. And, then again, not that much.

The class of ’94 was pretty cool. Still pretty cool. I moved there in ‘87. In 6th grade. I didn’t have the advantage of hanging out with the same kids from kindergarten that some of the others had. I went to Gubser – Whiteaker – McNary. Like a huge percentage of kids from Keizer. Education, decent. Neighborhood, good. Nothing more to report there.

I had the pretty regular old high school experience. Decent grades most of the time. Good grades when I put out effort. Played sports. Volunteered. Went to dances. Got my heart broken. The teenage angst. All the things.

I’ve got some good friends from then that I still have today. I take it as a compliment that they tell me that I act the same. It’s really a compliment when they say I look the same! I’d say I look and feel my age but I don’t really know what ‘my age’ feels or looks like. I don’t ‘feel’ any different than I did when I was 18. I just move slower. And everything hurts more.

When news that the reunion was being planned came out, I got a little excited and a little nervous. 

To prepare for the actual event, I hit the hairdresser a few days in advance and dug my letterman jacket out of the closet. Now, as I’ve said, I don’t really look or feel ‘my age’. But, that’s only really because I spend a fair amount of money having my hair colored. It’s white. Literally. Honestly. I don’t even really remember its original color. It betrayed me in my early twenties.

But, what can you do?

I can tell you what I can’t do – I can’t run around town with old lady hair.

I’d love to write some hilarious blog about the reunion. It was fun. I laughed a lot, caught up with some friends. Really enjoyed myself. I may write about it another time.

But, what’s really coming to me is what I’ve learned since 1994. And, in my advanced age, it’s my responsibility to share my 'wisdom'.

So, here goes - 20 things I’ve learned in 20 years.

1. At least half of what you’re learning in high school is useless fluff. Maybe even more than half. Just listen and turn in the work. It’s your job for right now.

2. Odds are, you won’t use physics or algebra in your day to day. I work with a lot of engineers. Really, really smart people. They aren’t using it either. (When in doubt, see #1)

3. You will use English, Speech and Econ. Pay attention in those classes. Really. Pay. Attention.

The following are not words: afterwards, backwards, towards.

NOT WORDS.

The correct words are: afterward, backward, toward. Thank you Mrs. Buchanan.

And, yes, users of the incorrect words – I am judging you.

4. Chances are that you're going to get dumped. You'll survive. And be the better for it. Sounds stupid and cheesy but it's true.

5. Just be. Spend time alone. To paraphrase Deepak Chopra, the truth is in the silence. 

6. You can get pretty far in life by just showing up. On time. Work. Appointments. Dates. Just be on time. Call if you’ll be late.

7. Don’t do stupid stuff. Pretty simple. It might seem like a good idea to pull a Chinese Fire Drill in front of Roth’s in your Dairy Queen uniform – but don’t. You may be hit by an automobile. It will be painful. Same goes for pretty much any idiot move. Just don’t do it.

8. People are important. Be kind.

9. Real true hard work pays off. It does.

10. Be friendly. Introduce yourself to people. Networking matters. The world is small. And getting smaller.  A good connection or two can get you places.

11. Worry less. Worrying about something doesn’t change the outcome. It just makes you miserable during the process.

12. At certain times in your life, nothing will be as important as your credit score. Don’t squander it.

13. Tell people you love them. You might suck at it. You might have to look at the floor. But, do it and mean it. I haven’t mastered this one. Yet. But, I'm trying.

I don't know that I'd listen to any advice from this kid.

14. There is a big difference between confidence and cockiness. Figure it out as soon as you can.

15. Be the hero. Sometimes you have to speak up.

16. Your parents aren’t total idiots. Trust me. One day they'll be the first call you want to make. And someday they might be the first call you have to make.

17. The internet is forever. Forever. Don’t post things to any site, any where that may some day embarrass you or the other folks in the picture.

18. Have fun. Giggle. Laugh so hard you pee a little. Streak the capital. All worth it. (I have photographic evidence. See #17)

19. Move. Stay active. It's a lot easier to stay in shape than get back into shape.

20. I've got nothing. I was kind of a slacker in high school.

The Divine Miss M, First Grader

Well, here we are. Five weeks into first grade.

The girl loves school. She loves reading and music and math and writing and art and lunch and recess and PE and EVERYTHING.

She's already been sick with a cold and had to miss a day - which she referred to as a 'tragedy'.

I've been walking her in in the mornings. Despite her quick wit and excellent vocabulary that poor girl can't navigate a two hallway one story building to save her little life. She can find Russia and Japan on a map but find her classroom in the morning? No way.

The weather has been so lovely so far this school year. A little fall chill in the air and with a sunny day after. The doors have been propped open in the morning. I assume to get some fresh air in and clear out the smell of little beasts. Oh, it should be noted that at 39 pounds, the doors on the front of the school are heavier than she is and if they're closed, there is essentially no way she could open them alone.

When we walk in, we hold hands in the parking lot and then once in the building I try to stay behind her while she, by herself, navigates herself to the before school program without help. She's getting better. She can make it in, turn right and then left.

So, now with the weather still so nice and the doors open, I've started asking her if she'd just like to walk herself in. She can get into the building and make it to the room.



Her response has been, 'no' so far. And then, this morning, I had a terrible thought.



One of these mornings, she's going to say yes.