Biggest lie? Or most frequent lie? They're the same. What is it, you ask?
I'm okay.
Say it all the time. I won't say that every time is a lie. Because, well, that would be a lie. But, like a lot of stressed out women I say it all the time. When I don't mean it.
Because, guess what? I'm not okay. I'm tired. So fucking tired. All the time. And stressed, and rushed and busy. Not to mention frazzled, frustrated and a whole lot of other things that also start with 'f'.
The house needs cleaned, the dogs need walked, I need my run, the kids are hungry, we need groceries, laundry. Oh my God, the laundry. Soccer practice, dance, projects. Oh, and we both work. Which I don't really complain about because I do like it and it's better for me to be out of the house 10 hours a day. Or I'd be doing God knows what all day long. But, it most certainly wouldn't be 'okay'.
The other day, a friend asked if I was grumpy. I was. I was really fucking grumpy. And kind of sad. When she asked, I made a joke and moved on. Wouldn't want anyone to know. Can't ever be not okay.
I'm sitting here kind of mad at myself. What is with me? And then I justify with: Everybody does it.
Isn't that true? Jesus. Everyone says that they're okay. It's the universal lie. It's like cheating in the most famous bicycle race in the world because everyone else does. Cough, cough.
When you boil it down though, my public face is pretty damn happy. A few people have seen me not happy. A smaller subset of that has seen me actually angry and/or sad.
That is not recommended. Nope, non emotional is best. Put my broken smile on and fake it.
Okay?
Okay?
😳 Not ok. It's fine to be not ok and let people know it. 😃 You are a rock star grumpy, sad, or happy.
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