As fun as four

On New Year's Eve 2016, I had a thought.

Probably the same thought a whole bunch of bicentennial babies had...

Shit.

I'm turning 40 this year.

Now, I'm not super big on age but I'll admit, 40 is bothering me. I don't really know why. I think because 40 seems like I should be so grown up. But, really, I'm about 12 years old. Or so I feel. I'm just a kid parading around in an adult suit. Making decisions.

Or at least it feels like it... As I sit here watching The Muppets.

I love the Muppets. I've seen all the movies. Even the 90's kind of crappy ones. (Muppets From Space, I'm looking at you.) I get that the new show is mostly geared to adults. And, I'll be honest and say that my kids do watch it from time to time. (Go judge somewhere else, judge-y moms.) They don't get the adult jokes, I get to watch my favorite show and we're watching all snuggled up on the couch together. Win/win.

Pure Joy.

I loved the show in the 70's. I wanted nothing more for my fourth birthday than a stuffed Kermit. Which I got. Because, there's a possibility I was and am spoiled. My mother searched all over and ended up finding Kermit at the Lacrosse Hardware Store. Just a few feet from her hair salon.

I have photos of that birthday party. I'm not sure that I've ever been as happy as I was in that moment. Hugging that Kermit for the first time.

That year we celebrated my birthday a couple days early. We were preparing to move and our mother was going out of town to look at houses. We did a combined brother/sister birthday party on May 17th, 1980. He turned 11, I turned four.

The next day, May 18th, 1980 we were playing near our grandparents house. I put Kermit in a box under some bushes near the back door of Norma's house. For safe keeping. Then went and played.

The sky turned black. We were quickly ushered up the hill to grandma and grandpa's house to wait out what was assumed to be a flood. It wasn't. It was a volcano.

We spent the day inside. Grandma was keeping us busy, no doubt - so we wouldn't be scared. Our mom was away and we were being covered in ash.

Around bedtime I remembered. And freaked.

You want to know what a hero is? A hero is a grandpa who will go out in the falling ash to find a Kermit doll in a box under some bushes near the door of Norma's house. In the dark. With sketchy directions from a four year old.

I still have that Kermit. He's on the list of things to grab if the house ever catches on fire. Right after kids and dogs. Kermit.

36 years later, I still need a Kermit hug from time to time.

Here's to hoping that 40 is as awesome as four. Less volcano would be nice.

Still together after all these years.