Staying Home

So, here we are. In a pandemic. And, it fucking sucks.

For me, I'm on week five, day six. My team moved to work from home a week before most companies did. We were certain that it was coming. Instead of being rushed and maybe not having everything at home that might be needed we told them to be prepared and stay home.

The first couple weeks were fun. It felt like snow days. We laughed on our video calls. We scheduled afternoon social hours where we would drink a cocktail and play an online game. I won the first online bingo. Boom.


The memes were fantastic. Laugh out loud funny.

My friend, Bill, and I joked over text that as GenXers we could sit at home for weeks. We're latchkey kids. We've been figuring shit out by ourselves since we were young. Too young, probably.

Put on some Price is Right (Bob Barker episodes), MTV, TBS afternoon syndication and some snacks and we can sit on the couch forever.

Or can we?

Because yesterday was it. For me. Yesterday was my max. I stood in our laundry room. Hands in my hair. Sobbing.

40 days. Turns out, 40 days is my max.

I miss my friends. And, yes, video happy hours help, but they're not the same. I, who, am not a big fan of being touched, miss hugs. So much. That's what this has come to - I miss being hugged.

I miss my team. I miss standing at a white board nerding out with them. Drawing workflows. Talking strategy. My team of mostly extroverts - wound up. Providing solutions. Coming up with acronyms for our latest feature. Mostly for fun, a little bit to torment people with one more acronym to remember.

I miss dinner out with my wife. I love sitting with her over a leisurely dinner. Long conversations over a glass(es) of wine. Making up stories about the other patrons. Who's on first a date? Who's breaking up? Which ones are the new parents out for the first time since the baby?

Right now, on this very day, we had planned on being in NYC. I just got the refund for our broadway tickets. For a show that was supposed to be tonight.

I miss our hectic regular old life. Running this kid to dance, this kid to Jui Jitsu, that kid to lacrosse.

Early morning lacrosse games, sitting in a row in our lawn chairs and coffee, chatting with the other parents. I miss all of it.

I know this is for the best, I know that staying home keeps us safe. I am horrified to see people out in groups protesting the stay at home orders. The fact that some are so selfish that they don't think of others frustrates me to no end. We're in this together. We have to function as a herd.
 
As I've developed asthma in the last few years I am terrified to get this. Absolutely. Terrified.

I'm thankful we both have jobs where we can work remotely. I'm thankful our kids have everything they need. I'm thankful that we are all healthy.

I'll keep plugging along. I'll be safe. I won't rush out as places start to open up as my fear of sickness is just slightly higher than my extroversion.

But, people.

Check on your extroverts.

If you don't know where they are, check the laundry room.