The Carlo

The following post is s short story that I wrote a number of years ago and gave out with a CD of some of the songs that remind me of our family car and those years, first in Hay and then in Lewiston. And, when my friends are shocked at all the 70's tunes I know, I say, 'Hey, we had 8 track!'


In 1976 the Crow family took delivery of their brand new light blue metallic Landau Monte Carlo.  It was the number one selling car that year.  1976 brought out the second generation of Monte Carlo’s, this new version had a cross hatch grill and stacked rectangular headlights.  It certainly earned its position as the number 1 selling car of '76.  It was spectacular.  And huge.  Weighing in at almost 4,000 lbs and over 17 feet long the car was a force to be reckoned with.  With a sticker price of over 6,000.00 it was a major purchase that was well worth it.  For six grand you got air conditioning, a white vinyl top, an eight track stereo and a car that scared wild animals off the road.   

Style AND Character.

The Monte Carlo slogan that year was, ‘When a car makes you feel good about its looks, that’s style.  When it makes you feel good about yourself, that’s character.’  Style and character.  That definitely describes the Crow family. To a T.

Traveling at over 100 miles per hour was no challenge for the 1976 Monte Carlo and heck with such safety features as an energy absorbing steering column and a padded dash there was no need to be nervous when traveling on winding country roads with your foot on the floor and your family in the back. It was also very efficient boasting 14 MPG in the city and 18 on the highway.  Good thing it held 22 gallons of gas.  Regular Leaded.

The Monte Carlo could comfortably seat three kids, two adults and a very large Saint Bernard.  It was no challenge to fill the trunk with luggage and still have room to throw in a dead pheasant that was killed on the trip – killed no doubt by that fancy cross hatch grill.

A ride so smooth, it lulls babies to sleep with ease.

Each Sunday we'd travel from the Orchards to downtown Lewiston for church. In the winter, the heat would finally be working about halfway there, our shivering would cease and at a stop light our mother would turn from the front seat and look down upon us.  We would sit there, paralyzed in fear as she licked her thumb and scrubbed one of our faces.  Thanks Mom, I feel much cleaner now that I’ve had Big Red flavored saliva wiped all over my face.

It’s funny how time challenges the memory. In my childhood memories, as mother careened around town in the Carlo, (Cruella DeVille style) she had a scotch and a cigarette in one hand and was flailing wildly with the other trying to make contact with one of us in the backseat all while threatening to ‘turn the car around’. That’s my memory at least. But, now that I think about it she didn’t smoke. The other parts are true though. Pretty sure.

We had many a fun family adventure in that huge car.  It outlasted numerous dogs, houses and husbands and was still chugging along when sold in the mid-nineties. The paint was faded, a few dents had been made in that fine Detroit steel and there was a bullet hole in the roof (Why yes, I do see a therapist!) but it still had spirit.

White vinyl. Nothing but the best!

I challenge you to take a trip through time.  Pop in the enclosed CD*, close your eyes.  Strain your arm to close the ‘extra long door’, feel the white hot vinyl blister your bare legs.  Take in a deep breath.  Can you smell it?  Hot vinyl, plastic, the slight smell of the aforementioned Saint Bernard and a whiff of Halston perfume.  You may be able to visualize Mom, dressed to the nines with large round sunglasses and blue eye shadow.  You are now home.

*Um, download and make a damn playlist. I wrote this like 10 years ago. Sadly, it won't sound like an 8 track.

Here You Come Again	Dolly Parton
Suspicious Minds	Elvis Presley
Kiss You All Over	Exile
Sundown	Gordon Lightfoot
Annie’s Song	John Denver
Funkytown	Lipps, Inc
Don’t Cry Out Loud	Melissa Manchester
Reunited	Peaches and Herb
Higher and Higher	Rita Coolidge
Just Another Woman in Love	Anne Murray
Can’t Smile Without You	Barry Manilo
Do That to Me One More Time	Captain and Tennille
Islands in the Stream	Dolly Parton with Kenny Rogers
Uptown Girl	Billy Joel
Ob-La-Di-Ob-La-Da	The Beatles
Carolina on my Mind	James Taylor
After the Lovin’	Engelbert Humperdinck
Woman in Love	Barbra Streisand
BONUS TRACK
Panama	Van Halen