Chaperone

So... The teens. All the friends. They're adorable. They've been around for years and years. I know them.  I love them. I've coached them - sometimes even off the field.

I pride myself on being the fun mom.

And, I am.

As long there are no shenanigans.

Want me to rent a super fun trampoline on the lake for all your friends to jump on in the sun?
-Here's my credit card.

Want to go to the latest Marvel movie?
-Yep, I'll take you and buy popcorn.

Want new Jordans for Christmas?
-I'm on it.

Want chocolate chip cookies?
-Done.

Want to have a kitchen dance party before dinner?
-Let's do it! I'll bring the dance moves.

Want blue highlights in your hair?
-Totally. Let's go to the beauty supply.

Think you and your friends are going to sneak around in this house? You think 'Seven Minutes in Heaven' is going to happen here?
-Nope.

You all turned 13 over night. Literally a blink of an eye. I might be 40 but I was 13 not too long ago. Two blinks ago, in fact.

I know how your little hormonal brains work. You are outmatched. At least at this point. 

My job is to teach you (all) to be grown up(s). My job is to make it hard. I know you're going to be in the backseat of the car... my job is to make that a challenge. Don't even think that I won't be out there with a flashlight. That's my job. I'm the mom.

I am fine with Truth or Dare when the dare is 'sniff these socks' or 'eat a dog biscuit' but when I hear the office door close... I'm on it. Like a bloodhound. Or an eagle.

You think that going off together in a dark room is a good idea... but those rooms have windows. I thought of this.

Because I am not 13.

Always watching.