Most of my friends knew my 'dad'. They didn't really know he wasn't my biological father. He was at the things. All the things. The games, the prom, the stuff. That dude held his breath for a lot of soccer games. I got scored on anyway. But, he felt it too.
I remember my stepsister, who is as close to me as any blood relative, see me hug a man just before my sisters wedding...
"Who is that guy?"
"Um, that's my dad."
It as awkward for everyone. But, especially as we'd lived in the same house for a number of years and she had no idea what the other half of my DNA looked like.
He and I weren't close. Which is a bummer; I've heard he was a pretty fun guy.
And then, well, he died. Years after that, but still kind of youngish. 62. Just before my 31st birthday. Don't think that I haven't thought about being halfway through. A lot. I plan on living a lot longer than 62 years. But, I do whatever I want. No regrets. Just in case. Because, hell, it could all go boom tomorrow.
What's the whole reason for this ramble... and how the heck does it tie back to music? Well, stick with me...
Dad moved to Olympia in the early '80's. We went for a week or so. I have no idea how long we were there. But, he had this new channel. MTV. Music Television.
COOLEST. THING. EVER.
It was the summer of '84. There are a number of songs that I can equate to that summer. Cars, Corey Hart... But, really, it was Huey Lewis. And the News.
'If This Is It' must have played 10 times a day that summer. You all remember the video. The family searching for the perfect place on the beach while hauling around a ton of stuff... as Huey is trying to call a girl. On a pay phone.
Went to see Huey the other night. Live. Felt like 1984. Except I drove myself there and had a couple beers. And Huey is 65. Other than that. It was just like being eight.
Took me back. Made me think about that summer. My dad. That was the last time I really spent with him. When I was eight. Saw him for a night two years later. And, for a few minutes at graduation and my sisters wedding. He was at my brothers wedding too. But, at that point I was pretty much pissed off. I marinated in anger for about 15 years, after all. I called the hospital when he had the first heart attack. Sent flowers. I wasn't a total ass. Just mostly.
Refused to go to the viewing. Sat there stunned at the funeral.
Lot of regrets there. Can't be fixed. Packing up the lessons learned. Vow to do better myself.
For now, I've got Huey, Corey and the Cars and that summer in 1984.