Drop Off

Let's talk about drop off. Drop off is not a hard concept. I have a strong need to understand why drop off is so completely difficult for drivers. Why? Why? Why?

I'm looking at you Forest Grove parents. You couldn't quickly complete drop off if your lives depended on it. If it was 'drop your kid off quickly or your car explodes' the enrollment at FGSD would drop dramatically. We'd have small class sizes and efficient drop off. I, a pacifist, am in support of exploding cars at drop off. That's how insane drop off in the Grove is. I literally want minivans and SUV's to explode. LITERALLY.

My kids are professionals at drop off. As we near the school, they have one hand on their back packs, one hand on their seat belts. I stop, they bolt. The 'Iloveyouhaveagreatdayrockthemathtestbekind' takes a millisecond.

I am on my way.

Or, I should be. But I can't. I'm boxed in. Because of you, lady. Lady in the red minivan who gets out. Opens the door. Unhooks the kid. Walks the kid to the sidewalk. Adjusts the backpack. Hugs the kid. Goes back. Unhooks second kid. Repeats process. Seriously. And, as much as I would love to pin it only on the red minivan mom, I can't. Because there are more of you. Many, many more of you.

Meanwhile, cars back up out of the parking lot and up and down B street.

I want to honk and give the finger. To the mother of the small child. I feel like this is how she'd learn. But, I can't do that. Not in front of a million small children. I do have standards, after all.

And so, I am begging you. The staff at the schools are begging you. They just can't drop F Bombs like I can... (at least in public)  If your child needs you to assist - park your car. If you need to talk to them for minutes before they get out - park your car. If they require hugs and extra love - for the love of God and all that is holy - PARK YOUR DAMN CAR.